Post 9: RW5kbGVzcw== Cycle

I wake up to the sound of my alarm, the same alarm everyday. Every other day and on the weekends, I will then proceed to work out in the morning through various workout classes. On Tuesday and Thursday, I work out later in the day after classes. Each morning, I eat breakfast and I get ready for class. I have a class at noon on Tuesday and Thursday and at 3pm on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This first class is math. It always starts with math. SXQgYWx3YXlzIHN0YXJ0cyB3aXRoIG1hdGgu There is nothing other than math. My next class is either writing or all my coding classes (which are right after each other). SXQgYWx3YXlzIHN0YXJ0cyB3aXRoIG1hdGgu While waiting for my next class or a meeting, I finish the homework for the day. Maybe also work on some projects. It’s always the same homework for the same classes due on the same days. Mondays, it’s astro engineering. Tuesday it’s a day for working on projects. Wednesday is studying for the math quizzes each Thursday. Thursday is when the lab for my MatLab class is due and is when the aforementioned quiz is. Friday I have MatLab homework and C++ lab due. Saturday is when the MatLab readings are due. It’s the same. The same subjects, all due on the same days. U2FtZSBzdWJqZWN0cywgc2FtZSBkYXlzLg==

Throughout the day, I check YouTube and discord to see what my friends are saying or if my favorite creators are posting. At exactly 1:00 pm every single day I will check on my friend’s channel and listen to his latest upload. Most of the time his videos are about something that I’m not interested in, but I want to support him, so I do listen to them. Most of the time I don’t find anything else interesting to watch on YouTube or to listen to so I start watching old stuff from my favorite creators or even stumble across someone new. WW91J3JlIHByb2NyYXN0aW5hdGluZy4= Sometimes there’s drama happening in whatever place I’m at and I get sucked into a conversation there for an hour. WW91J3JlIHdhc3RpbmcgdGltZS4= When the only thing differing each day is what drama is happening…can you really call that living life? Or is it just a cycle? R2V0IHRvIHdvcmsu An endless cycle? One that won’t be stopped. There’s nothing I can do, every day is the same. SXQgYWx3YXlzIHN0YXJ0cyB3aXRoIG1hdGgu Every week just like the previous. There’s nothing I can do. VGhlcmUncyBub3RoaW5nIHRoYXQgY2FuIGJlIGRvbmUu

I want to have variety in the day. I want to do something new. I’m trapped where I am with no escape. SSdtIGluIGFuIGVuZGxlc3MgY3ljbGUu I’ve tried to do something different. Play a game, meet new people, talk to people I haven’t talked to in over a year, but nothing works. I always get sucked into the cycle. SXQgYWx3YXlzIHN0YXJ0cyB3aXRoIG1hdGgu Every day is the same. U2FtZSBzdWJqZWN0cywgc2FtZSBkYXlzLg== Not even “wellness days” are different. Yes, there is no homework due, but most of the time it’s just due the day after so I still have to work on the same homework. Nothing changes. SSdtIHN0dWNrLg==

sometimes tHere is somEthing different that’s actuaLly Positive. soMeone spEaking about Something good thAt happened to them and eVeryone bEing happy for theM. somEtimEs things chaNge just for a Day and no Less, Either getting Some new information about Something or being able to visit people. even mundane tasks have Clearly gone from being annoYing or unbearable to fun. going to the store has gone from being a Chore to something i enjoy because there is variety in the day between meeting peopLe and getting nEw things. these days stand out. these days i can actually remember what happened. everything else blends together with no escape.

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I exist and that's about it.

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Rebecca White

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I exist and that's about it.

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